Doug and Rebecca Walker

It’s been a while since my last update. And I admit, I’m a loser for not getting a 14 week picture of myself. Sorry. I took a 15 week picture, and it made me realize just how important it is to keep taking pictures EVERY week!! With the three babies in there, changes are happening at warp speed!

BTW – I’m typing this from the couch in mom and dad’s basement. Tonight there are 13 adults and 9 children sleeping here. The numbers seem to change with each meal and each night time! Doug and I are the only ones awake, so we’re being very quiet!

Last week, I was working so hard to get over to mom and dad’s house because Johnsons, McClanahans, and Holtons (all my siblings and their families) were here. I started feeling a bit ‘funky’ late Monday night and woke up in the middle of the night with pretty severe diarrhea and vomiting. It last a good 36 hours or so. It was MISERABLE! Best as I and the dr can figure, it must have been food poisoning, because I never had a fever and no one else got it. Who knows.

I missed out on a day with my siblings…..but I’m not going to expound on the sadness there. Doug and I got to my folks’ late on Wednesday afternoon, Dec 22 and we’ll be leaving on Dec 30 or 31.

I’ll type more later, recapping my time with my family and what our Christmas is like, but it’s late. And I intentionally don’t want to spend much time on my computer, because this is family time!!!

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Today’s one of those days that I could swear someone’s piping tryptophan through my furnace. I slept so much today – so much I’m embarrassed to say! But, I’ve got a good excuse, right?

Last night we got a lot of freezing rain. Doug had to go into work at lunchtime, in order to give the road some time to melt. They cancelled school again today – again that translates into nothing for our family. School still goes on! I can’t imagine how several snow days on this last week of school is effecting so many school systems. It’s finals week for high-school students.

Yesterday’s check-up at the high-risk OB went well. I got to see the babies again. They didn’t give me any pictures. The purpose of the u/s was just to see heartbeats and make sure no bleeds were around any of the placentas. One baby was sound asleep with elbows and knees all pulled in. Once kicked back when the doctor pushed on her/him. And one baby rolled all the way over. He/she started off facing me, and quickly rolled onto its back giving me a profile pic, and then finally rolled onto its other side pushing its spine into the camera.

All week I’ve been complaining that my belly button hurts so bad! Having anything press against it, bending or twisting makes it feel like someone had kicked my belly button. I told Doug that I had a suspicion that the babies were growing and I’m now having the scar tissue pain around my belly button. As I had suspected, those are the goings-on inside! When the doctor went to u/s my belly, one baby was sitting right above my belly button. How crazy high is that for 14weeks!?! The doctor said my uterus is measuring at about 21 weeks.

I saw a dietician. They took down what I’ve been eating each day and calculated that I’m not even eating 2000 calories a day. They want me to shoot for 3500-4000! Is that not absolutely insane? She told me to make it my goal to eat 450 calories every two hours. That is such a terrible thought, I don’t know whether to puke or cry! Apparently I should have gained a good 15-20lbs so far with a total weight gain by birth day of 58-78lbs. She gave me these little tubs of oily stuff that I’m supposed to stir into my food to add fat and calories. I shook the tub and heard the sloshing oily yuck and can’t bring myself to tear back the foil and take a look at it – let alone eat it! Something tells me that it goes against everything I was raised to believe in and eat. I don’t see it pairing well with my clementines, kefir, asparagus or salads!

The goal over the next few weeks is to see my allergist to better control all my congestion, sore throat and fluid in my ears. I’m to get a better handle on my heartburn. Dr says to work better at bracing my stomach when I move, cough, sneeze, etc to control all the scar tissue pain. They are concerned about my amount of bad headaches and migraines and should still see my nuerologist to begin a medication to prevent them. And they say to EAT.

And I’m to check my blood sugar 4x/day. If during a whole week I’m over 2x, even by just one number, they will begin giving me medication for gestational diabetes. I HATE THIS! I told Doug that it’s a good thing they’re not simultaneously check my blood pressure! I get so nervous waiting for that crazy number to pop up, my heart is just racing. This morning, I got up at 6:30 to do my 8 hour fasting check. At first the number was a bit over, but then I remembered the doctor said if I had lotion on my hands, I’d skew the results. I had used lotion right before I went to bed. So I washed my hands and re-stuck my finger. The results came down almost 17points!

January 3, Doug and I will go back for another check-up. They said the 2 1/2 weeks between now and then will be the longest time they let me go between check-ups from here on out. They are hoping to find out the sex of the babies Jan 3! We can hardly wait!

By the way – I ordered one gift on-line last night and had it shipped. Other than that, still nothing!

Here’s a pic of my girls. My ‘first – born’, Sadie, our dog. And Audrey Jillian, my miracle girl who’s by far and away my favorite. They’re good pals and they love to be silly together as well as hug. (Yes we do have a girl cat…but by default, since she is a cat, she doesn’t truly make into list of ‘my girls!’)

By the way – notice we SORT OF have a Christmas tree. I’m not ‘totally’ a bad momma! I was just far too sick to buy a tree and fully deck the house out like usual. Besides, this year’s tree  is at Grandma’s house. We’ll be spending our whole Christmas break there!

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So sorry that I never posted the pics. But here is the picture we took Saturday, at 13 weeks 3 days. I’m definitely feeling the heaviness of 3 babies and surely feel pregnant. In just a day or two, will be week 14 pictures. I still have to chuckle at my fellow EA moms who are posting their pics of 14-16 weeks (everyone’s ahead of me by a week or two). They call their tummies ‘baby bumps’, but with triplets, Doug says I’m well on my way to a baby torpedo!

Saturday, our friends came over and brought dinner and stayed with us to eat. It was so enjoyable! Audrey got to play with her friends, I didn’t have to cook, and I got some adult conversation. It was a win-win! I’ve been getting pretty lonely the last couple weeks, never getting out because of sickness.

SNOW
Sunday evening we were hit with snow. It came pretty fast, and hit our neighborhood pretty good. We had been so stoked for our small group Christmas party. I had made a fair amount of food and had some good white elephant gifts wrapped and ready to go. We had been discussing the road conditions for about 15 minutes before we left, but we decided to go for it (somewhat against Doug’s better judgment). Our street is pretty narrow, hilly, and curvy – a true Tennessee road.

About 1/3 of a mile from the house, 4 cars ahead of us slid into a ditch. We slid into oncoming traffic and down the blind hill. Doug was ‘exclaiming’ loudly (which is out of character for him) and I was praying VERY loudly and Audrey was very concerned about the sounds our breaks were making. After 2 more major slides in less than a mile, Doug thought it best we turn for home. We knew it was only going to get colder and more snowy. I don’t have a coat (my belly’s already outgrown it) and Doug was concerned he’d get his coatless wife pregnant with triplets stuck in a bad situation. It was a very tense drive home and we saw several off the road less than a mile from our home.

Audrey and Doug and our dog, Sadie, played in the snow for a while. There was so much snow that the dog had snow balls all dangling from her stomach and legs. I tried taking some pics, but it was so windy and the snow was coming down so hard, this is the best I could get.  We barely made a dent in some of the food I had prepared….but we had a family night and spent time reading our Bibles and setting up our nativity scene. 

Doug worked from home on Monday and schools were cancelled Monday and Tuesday. Although, that really doesn’t translate into anything meaningful for a homeschool family! But at least, Doug was able to take a quick break during the afternoon and played with Audrey in the snow.

Happenings Lately
I have yet to buy a Christmas gift…..and it needs to be done by Monday! Yup, I’m cool.

Today I was actually feeling pretty good. Although I had some waves of nausea today, I actually didn’t puke once. I can’t even believe it! And I actually was able to make some pork BBQ for dinner. I even washed and dried a load of laundry. Granted it’s not folded, but wrinkled clothes are preferred to dirty clothes! (I’m trying to remember it’s all in my perspective!) Audrey and I got in most of our school day and we decided to take Audrey to go see The Voyage of the Dawn Treader tonight as a little surprise. We NEVER go to theaters – mostly because there’s never really anything decent enough to watch, but secondly because we can’t afford it. It was a splurge, but it was fun. It was fun for me to breathe air outside of the house (that isn’t a doctor’s office or hospital!)

BLOG CHANGES
By the way, hopefully everyone is noticing and appreciating the blog change! We were getting pretty frustrated with our host company. From a maintenance perspective, it was so incredibly slow for me, constantly had weird quirks, and enjoyed giving me random error messages. Lots of folks said they were having a hard time subscribing and leaving comments. Soooooo, here’s hoping this one is easier for ya’ll! ……I expect tons of comments

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I hope to get week 13 pics up tomorrow. The last few days have me feeling not so photogenic! The pale face, greasy hair, wrinkled PJs, and chapped lips would horrify all my blog followers!

The last week has been even rougher! I didn’t think it was possible, but maybe that’s what I get for complaining.

The nausea has been even worse lately. I’ve been visiting toilets and waste paper baskets much more frequently. I’ve been trying to rotate between Zofran and Phenergan suppositories. The Phenergan makes me tired, but seems to help some.

Migraines
After receiving the Dr’s news about my migraines, I didn’t have much to think about what I was going to do, when one hit last Saturday night. I had ran out to the store early evening on Saturday to buy some food for our small group at church. I was providing a meal to about 26 adults and 20 kids. Before I had a chance to unload my groceries, Audrey was crying and complaining of dizziness, fatigue, sore throat. About 20 minutes later my migraine hit, about 7:15.

I took Demerol with a cup of strong coffee and went to bed. Doug put Audrey to bed an hour and a half early, at her request. Within a couple hours I started vomiting every hour or 2. That kept up for about 26 hours! Doug and Audrey stayed home from church, of course. Doug ran to one more store and did his best to assemble all the food for small group and run it over to the host family’s house. Then he tore back home to take Audrey off to my folks’ house for 2 nights.

Doug did a good job taking care of me, swapping out puke buckets, getting me medicine, keeping things dark and quiet, etc. Monday and Tuesday I felt positively run over, with no energy to stand up or get dressed.

ER Fiasco
All day Wednesday, I spent the day throwing up, and I had been feeling crampy, but had no bleeding. About 4:30, I went to throw up (AGAIN). When I did, I felt a strange gush at the same time I was puking. I realized there was quite a bit of blood. When I called the Dr’s afterhours line, it turns out that either they took the message down wrong or something, because the OB floor didn’t realize it was me – already established patient with triplets. So they had a resident talk to me, who basically wouldn’t say anything except for ‘go to the ER.’ I never dreamt I’d be at the ER for 7 ½ hours, fighting for food and for someone to tell me what was going on. The radiologist wouldn’t do an ultrasound because they don’t feel proficient at looking at three babies. No one ever told any of  the high risk OBs that I was there. A resident from 3 floors away heard I was in the ER and had been there all night without having anything done to/for me. Although, ironically they kept me so long that I had gone about 12 hours without eating, so they wanted to give me an IV!! The resident snuck down to our room with a mobile u/s machine and swore me not to tell that she had removed the equipment from the OB floor. She saw all babies’ heartbeats. They were all wiggling around, because by then I ate some salad Doug snuck me! – so I bet the babies were happy and energized. The placenta previa from baby A is still present and there was a small pocket of blood that could be seen. The resident assured me that I’d be fine to leave, she’d do her part to get me out of there, and to call back to the OB dept during business hours.

I didn’t get to sleep back at home until about 3:30am, by then so nauseated and with a monstrous headache. I tried to sleep in a few hours, but I was so sick Thursday, vomiting like mad. I eventually talked to our high-risk ob, and they were very apologetic. They don’t want me talking again to residents after hours. As an established patient, I should always be able to speak to the Dr. If the bleeding becomes heavy again, I’m to speak directly to my doctor and they will over-ride the policy that you have to be 18 weeks to avoid ER and go straight to labor and delivery triage! My Dr said he was aware the ER won’t do anything for moms expecting 3+ babies. Charming! You talk about a colossal waste of time and exercise in frustration!

CHRISTMAS
Last night we had our make-shift Christmas decorating in our house. I’ve been too sick to get a tree, hang lights outside, and make the house look festive, so we hung lights around the family room and around our Ficus tree. We put a few decorations in just the family room and are trying to pump it up to Audrey that this is far better than nothing!

This is the year that all my siblings come home and we have our Christmas at mom and dad’s! My brother, Craig and his wife Tiffany and their 4 kids will be staying with mom and dad for a couple weeks. But this year, my sister Gayle and her husband Dan and their 2 kids as well as other brother, Michael and his wife Tonia and their 4 kids cannot stay as long as they usually can. Typically we have a good week+ to eat, sleep, goof off together all at my parents’ house in Oak Ridge (about 20 minutes away). So for most of the Christmas break, Doug and Audrey and I will be staying there too. It’s more fun to stay there and not have to worry about heading home early enough in the evenings for Audrey to get to sleep in her own bed.

We’ve given Christmas shopping not one thought! Yup! I haven’t purchased one gift or even thought about what I will get. Really good, huh?

I discovered my pretty tailored red winter coat is already too tight on my tummy. Already, we’ve had a wickedly cold winter for east Tennessee. Maybe I should resign myself to just wrapping up in an afghan when I go places – at least it’s already paid for!!

I’ve gotten even more behind with homeschooling. Audrey was more than a school year ahead for her grade/age, but I see that margin slowly closing. Very sad.

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This week has been so rough. I think we had our quick moments of highs when we got to see our babies on ultrasound. But, most of the other time, has been miserable for me. This is the sickest week I’ve had so far. I’m either throwing up, wishing I were just going to throw up, thinking about not throwing up, lining trash buckets with extra bags for the next throw up, trying to prevent throwing up, and/or running to go throw up. You get the idea.

I feel like I’ve tried everything and am to the point that I don’t want any more suggestions about controlling nausea. I’ve been trying it all: Vitamin B6, Sea Bands, Zofran, Maalox, frozen things, lemon drops, ginger candy, ginger tea, peppermint tea, eating lots of crackers through out the day, ginger ale, cold cloths, breathing techniques, smiling, sweet things, salty things, etc. There’s nothing left to try. Trust me.

I’m also sorta over all the jokes and all the not-so-sympathetic reminders that this is a good sign or that ‘this is part of having a baby and after all, this is what you wanted.’ Wow, I just can feel the love every time someone says that. All these jokes and comments are heard (in triplicate) regarding the impending doom/challenges of having 3 babies to take care of. And reminders about the how the pregnancy will be difficult because of multiples. DUH! I know these more than anyone else, trust me!

I knew pregnancy wouldn’t be a walk in the park. I know raising children can be an exhausting and a frustrating challenge that will ensue for years. For weeks now, I’ve been fighting the desire to admit to a lot of my fears. I feel like I’m trying hard to not complain….but maybe I’m just fooling myself.

I have a bunch of obvious fears that I’m sure most folks can anticipate. I’m concerned about how Audrey will adjust. She’ll be about 8 years old when the babies come. It would be hard for any child to share the spotlight with one sibling after that many years, but Audrey will have to share with 3 babies – 3 high maintenance babies. I am deeply concerned about homeschooling Audrey while juggling care for the babies. I’m extremely concerned about the massive belly! Thank goodness only Doug sees all the scars and evidences of so many surgeries, but it all but make me squeamish to think of what it’s gonna look like once those babies are pulled out of a tummy that’s been stretched to maximum capacity. Since I’ve struggled my whole life with weight, despite any dieting or exercise regimen, can you fathom the scope of my oompa-loompa complex!?! If I’m short and fat pre-triplets, what’ll I look like later?  Oh, I’m anxious about my health during the care of these children. I’m not one of those people like my sister who wakes up at the crack of dawn and conquers the world before most folks even had breakfast. And how are we going to afford everything – a van, cribs, car seats, swings, bouncers, diapers, bottles, clothes, etc? I think it’s been long enough that I have forgotten about all that I need!! …..But these aren’t even some of the more anguishing thoughts, to be honest.

Even though I knew pregnancy would be somewhat difficult, I had high hopes that it would be full of memorable, bonding, pleasant moments. After working so hard to have children, I had hoped the answer to my prayers would be wrapped in some sort of reprieve, if you will. When I got that first positive pregnancy test, I immediately pictured and desired all the joys of pregnancy. I thought of the pregnant belly, delivery day, and getting to hold my baby for the first time, nursing that baby, etc. But when I found out there were three babies, all those hopes seemed to get greatly distorted.

There have been some moments of serious grieving for me. Mourning the loss of so many of those things I had dreamed of as enjoyable, special, and hopeful. My mind switched to the fear involved in carrying three lives whom all have more going against them than a normal baby. I’ve been mourning the loss of the dream that I’ll get to snuggle my babies when they’re minutes old, still goopy, and needing my warmth. Instead, they’ll be whisked away by strangers with the warm of a heater while I lay there with only a silly sheet and massive repair work on my belly. Instead of Doug and I having our alone time with the babies to pray over them, sing to them their song, and begin nursing right away (like what we did with Audrey), someone else will be caring for them without any thought to asking God for help. And more than likely, they’ll be no nursing, if they’re in the NICU with issues. These are HUGE deals to me. Maybe they’re the things most women just assume and take for granted. But when they’re all gone, it puts a different spin on the whole pregnancy, birth, and early infancy for me.

And yet everyone thinks that if I’m not melting away in sheer elation, that I’m an ungrateful child of God –asking for a baby and getting irritated when He gives three. Please, don’t think that I am not overjoyed with the babies. I’m elated for having my quiver full in an instant. But I think most folks see just an end, while I see the ends and the means.

Yesterday, the nurse practitioner called my house 4 times. Each call seemed to get progressively discouraging to me. Each call seemed to confirm the reality of 3 babies and guard me from ever looking at any of this for even just a second through rose-colored glasses.

Apparently the Imitrex that I’ve taken twice for my migraines during the pregnancy is a HUGE no-no. To drive their point home, they were sure to even relay a terrible story of one mom’s use of Imitrex during pregnancy. Gee thanks. I was encouraged to see my neurologist to see if there is anything I can do to prevent or manage a headache. Since my headaches are NOTHING like the average migraine sufferer, these is a huge deal. Since about the age of 14, I’ve ALWAYS carried Imitrex on my person. Always! For someone to yank that safety net right out from under me, is freaking me out.

The doctor said that since I’m at ‘advanced maternal age for triplets’, I need to be checked for diabetes starting in my 12th week. Soooooo many problems in this for me. #1 -I’m 33. How’s that old? #2 – Obviously I want to do what’s best for babies’ health, but diabetes is just one of those things that freaks me out. I’ve always been the fat one in the family. With a brother who has diabetes, I’ve always felt like a ticking time bomb. Now with my risk of developing it skyrocketing because I’m carrying 3 babies, it really frightens me. #3- I can’t fast for a test when I’m this sick. I can’t.

So it was decided that due to the nausea, I will begin testing my blood sugar 4x/day for a week at home. They said they didn’t prefer this route…..but I don’t prefer the other route!

Last night Doug went to the drug store, and there’s now this massive collection of prescription bottles, vitamins, and supplements. And bottles of ensure now take up a good space in the fridge. If I can’t keep 3 bites of yogurt down, how do I keep fifty-zillion pills down? And if I feel too frazzled and tired to keep up with my normal schedule of life, how can I remember 1 of this, 2 of these, 3 of these, 4 of these, these with food, these on an empty stomach, this with this but only when….. Aghhhh. So they say to get one of those huge pill sorters that elderly folks use. SURE….since after all, I’m at an advanced maternal age!

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Today Doug and I got to go to the high-risk OB for the first time. It was a crazy long appointment! We got there at about 12:20 and didn’t leave until 4:30. As I was walking out the door to go to the doctor, I totally puked. So I grabbed a few pretzels for my purse, knowing I’d get hungrier sooner. I also had a granola bar in my purse, but when I met Doug he hadn’t eaten all day, so he took the granola bar. I tried to pace myself with the pretzels, but as they quickly depleted, the nausea kept building! At a few moments, I thought for sure , no matter how much I smiled, the puke was inevitable. Before leaving, I was attempting to chat with the dietician to set up my appointment with her. She knew I was struggling and gave me a banana from her pocket. A banana. Sure. It’s from a dietician, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but a Snicker bar would have endeared my heart to hers a little more. Nevertheless, I snarfed the green banana in no time (and I do NOT eat green bananas)!

It seemed like a marathon event today. I had to meet with one nurse for urine check, weight, and blood pressure. Then I met with a stenographer to record all my health issues, surgery history, medication list, and medical history. Then we had to talk about the genetics of the babies. Then Doug and I went for my ultrasound. Then we met with one of the doctors, before spending a while with the nurse practitioner. She sent me for blood work and a 2nd urine test! (These people should give me something to drink!) And then we checked out, set up my next appt, and met with the dietician quickly to set up an appt with her. Doesn’t that sound exhausting!

I have to share the funniest story….I think it was one of those pregnancy brain lapse moments where either I had puked up all sense or I was just so tired. A nurse was going over a host of questions with me about my past pregnancies. We talked for a long time about my pregnancy with Audrey, Audrey’s birth, how much she weighed, how far along I was when I had her, etc. At one point she paused for a long time and said ,’boy or girl?" and I said, "We don’t know yet." The lady looked at me like I was such an idiot, and I realized she was still talking about Audrey. I thought she was talking about the sex of the triplets. Duh!?!?

We did confirm with ultrasound that all the babies are doing well. 2 of the babies are ahead a few days. Baby B is the biggest. All of their heart rates we between 160-175. Apparently because there are 3, they can’t do the typical 12 week screen to check for Downs and other things. However, the technician said she felt like she got a good picture of the back of their necks and things look good! They did verify with more detail that Baby A’s placenta is sitting right on my cervix. So they spent a while measuring the length of my cervix and how much of the baby’s placenta is covering it so they could monitor if that situation gets worse or better. Today was the first time we got to hear their heartbeats. And the first time they could do an u/s on top of my belly. Of course, they said that frequently I’ll need u/s done both ways to better monitor me and the babies, as was the case today.

I was given this massive list of supplements to start taking. Folate, Citrical, Iron Supplements, Fish Oil (4x/day), baby aspirin, and either Ensure or Boost 2x/day. Hmmmm. I think I see lots of gagging in my future! :-/

It was discussed again, at great length, the fact that I’ve had so many surgeries and have extensive scar tissue. As I am describing all the pain and the things that set it off, the doctor is adding up all the surgeries….. And he asks me if at my last surgery, did my fertility specialist comment on the amount of scar tissue. When I told him the fertility specialist said he wouldn’t operate again unless it was a hysterectomy, the doctor just sorta nervously laughed! He basically said that I sounded like the worst case scenario. It remains to be seen it some of the pain subsides, increases or simply remains.

There’s only one pic of Baby C, because he/she was so hyper. So we couldn’t get a very good picture. That second to last picture of Baby B is a pic of the baby looking straight at us. It’s kinda creepy looking and Audrey was quite disturbed!

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